Elsa
by ReleaseThroughWriting
Summary: Elsa would never purposely hurt her sister, her best friend, and when she saw Anna lying on the snow, eyes closed, breathing shallow, skin like ice, she knew she broke something that could never be fixed. This is the story of Elsa. Correction. This is the real story of Elsa.


This is the story of Elsa.

Correction.

This is the _real_ story of Elsa.

Elsa was a fairly happy girl. She lived in the beautiful kingdom of Arendelle, she had loving parents, and had a special bond with her sister that most girls dream of. Anna never judged her, never seized to love her. When Elsa felt like she was worthless, or when she was worried what others would think of her powers, Anna was right there, comforting her. Even at such a young age, both Elsa and Anna understood more than they should've, and Anna understood Elsa more than anyone else.

That morning was freak accident.

Elsa would never purposely hurt her sister, her best friend, and when she saw Anna lying on the snow, eyes closed, breathing shallow, skin like ice, she knew she broke something that could never be fixed.

Elsa, even when she was little, had never trusted magical creatures. It might have been because of the stories she read where trolls and witches were out to destroy the kingdom, or the fact that Anna had always been afraid of them, even though their parents insisted that these creatures were perfectly safe. But when they reached the trolls, and she was told that she wasn't allowed to have any contact with her sister anymore, that lack of trust turned into hatred. She _hated_ the trolls and her parents, and that, on top of the emotions she had towards her sister and the situation, slowly made her heart grow colder.

That pain never stopped.

Imagine nineteen year old Elsa crying herself to sleep because she can hear her sister laughing during her sixteenth birthday party. And later that night, Elsa wakes up to sobs outside her door from Anna, who was curled up in a ball waiting for her sister to respond. She didn't even bother to change out of her evening gown because she still had hope that Elsa would come out and celebrate her birthday with her.

And Elsa slowly opens her door and tentatively reaches out to put her hand of Anna's shoulder, but pauses right before she touches her. And she just whispers "Happy birthday, Anna." before closing the door again.

But maybe Anna heard her sister open the door and she hides her gasp when she finally hears Elsa speak and as the door closes, she turns to face it, waiting and hoping that it'll open again.

And then Elsa opens the door again and sees Anna looking at her and instead of closing it quickly, she opens it more and drapes a blanket over her, still not touching her. She then goes back into her room and closes the door again. But Anna doesn't mind because she finally got to see Elsa after so many years of staring at a door. And she reaches out and rests her hand on the door, quickly realizing that's cold. It's cold because on the other side Elsa has her hand in the exact same place and they both whisper, "I love you." at the same time.

And years later, on the day of the coronation, Elsa stood in front her mirror, wiping the tears that had been running down her cheeks. She was unsure whether she was able to face Anna. She was afraid that she would hurt her again, not just physically like before, but emotionally as well. She was scared that if she had fun with her sister, it would breaks Anna's heart all over again when Elsa had to go back into her room and once again isolate herself. Which is why she ran off when Anna asked her why she shut people out, because she knew that she couldn't tell her, but also didn't want to hurt her. So she felt that the only way to protect Anna was to just leave.

She never meant to be so harsh that night. She never meant to make her sister so sad so quickly. She meant to tell her to leave. And what killed Elsa the most was the fact that Anna risked her life when she went after her, because Elsa felt like she wasn't worthy of being loved by someone as sweet as Anna. And that's why she built her palace on the mountain. Because it was so far from everyone and everything and she knew that she would eventually die of starvation because she only had her ice powers. So she was really committing a long suicide because she thought Anna would be better off without her in her life anymore. She thought it was the only choice she had.

_She was letting it go._

And when she saw Anna she was so happy because she thought she'd never see her again. And after all those years of not opening the door, that's why the palace doors opened, because she wanted nothing more than to let Anna in. But it instantly turned to fear because she knew she would hurt Anna again. It was inevitable. And she thought that the weather would be so bad that Anna wouldn't be able to get back, and she would die there, just, like Elsa, and it would be Elsa's fault. So she kicked her out, in hopes that she would get home in time to get food, water, and warmth. But unfortunately, she accidentally, froze her sister. Again. And while Kristoff was taking Anna back, Elsa was planning a way to end her life.

But then Prince Hans showed up.

And Elsa was angry, so angry that Hans showed up when all she wanted to do was die in peace. She meant to hurt anyone. And then he came and messed everything up and now she was back in Arendelle, the one place she didn't' want to be. She was so unhappy and scared. All she wanted was to leave again so she could go and end her life.

She was hoping that when Hans came into the dungeon, he would just kill her on the spot. She never expected him to try and help her out of the situation. The one thought that was running through her mind was 'I don't deserve this.' She had felt like that for a long time; when Anna would come to her door, asking to build a snowman, and Elsa would just sit in the farthest corner of her room, crying, because she had never wanted to die more than she had in that moment. Building a snowman always ended badly in her mind, and she knew that there was no escaped from the storm inside of her.

But at that moment in the dungeon, with Prince Hans asking her to bring back summer, she knew she couldn't live with herself anymore.

And then she escaped. She didn't know Anna was back. She didn't know that she had frozen her heart. She didn't know any of it. She just knew that she had to escape back to the North Mountain and end her sad existence. She didn't know that Anna was out in the storm, desperately searching for her act of true love to thaw her frozen heart. Then suddenly Hans was there and she begged him to let her be and take care of Anna.

And then she heard the words.

"Your sister is dead. Because of you."

Elsa fell to her knees as everything stopped. The storm ended, the flurries stood suspended in the air, everything was frozen because her heart was truly broken. She had killed the one person she loved more than life itself. And that's why didn't react when when she heard Hans unsheathe his sword. She was ready to die. She deserved it. She closed her eyes and waited for the blow.

Then came her worst nightmare and softest dream. Anna was alive! But she had jumped in front of Hans to stop him. As much as Elsa would have done the same for her, she was so scared she couldn't even scream. She just closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable to happen. She heard a crash and lifted her head to see Anna frozen in place. She practically flew to her feet and gazed into her frozen sister's face. "No..." She reached out tentatively, still so afraid to touch her. She gently rested her fingers against to icy surface. That was enough and she flung herself around Anna, sobbing for the first time since her parents died. Around them the air stood still. And as Elsa held her, she silently pleaded that something, _anything_ bring her back, at least for a minute.

Then, right at that moment, she felt her chest tighten, something inside her move. Her heart was pounding.

Then she felt it.

She felt soft cloth.

She was so afraid to lift her head. She was scared that it would be to good to be true. She slowly looked up and there was Anna smiling down at her. Then they were hugging and she never wanted to let go, and she heard Anna say her name and it was the most beautiful thing sound in all the lands.

"You risked your life for me?"

"I love you."

**A/N: So this story was kind of an accident. It just... happened when I was texting shamelesselsanna_shipper (aka Lindsey). We wrote it together which was awesome! GO FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM! Thanks to her for letting me post it. It was so much fun writing this with you!  
**


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